Self discovery

After reading Deno's blog on knowledge of self, the idea of self discovery has lingered in my mind. This i realised a few minutes ago... (as i was walking to the kiosk round the corner to buy some airtime for a 100/-... US$1.2). It came to my mind, as i reflected on my activities over the last two weeks, that it is in the company of my peers that i distinguish myself and make a clear identification of my self.

That probably sounds extremely mundane.... i knew that 8 years ago- but its just made full sense. I had the opportunity of travelling to Msa on a retreat with some young adults from NPC - Karen. And i got to enjoy the company of a group of young christians with very strong and different personalities. In my interaction with them, i was inspired by the vision in the hearts and minds of many of those guys. The clarity of mind and purpose... the strength of their conviction in the power of salvation... their hunger for relationships with meaningful purposes... all this got me by surprise. There is actually a hope for this country.

Back to self description... as i interacted with a few of the guys, i saw who i wanted to be like. And the happy part [for me] was that these guys were making the steps that i've been fearing to make. They were... beating the path (so to speak) that i want to take. They had taken the risks that i've been fearing to take. It became much clearer to me, that the faint dreams in my head cld actually materialise and blossom. Oh, it was extremely fulfilling.

That aside, i was also impressed at the sobreity with which these guys discussed women. I've had the unpleasant opportunity to sit with guys who discuss chiles like tomatoes huko being sold at the Tusker stage! But these guys, actually had quite some positive vibe... constructive discussions about relationships & the direction they should take... the prudence and/or imprudence of many things that many guys ordinarily wldnt give too much thought.

The foregoing might sound very ambiguous, but i now believe that the company that i keep or keeps me... , will truly build and mould my character, and contribute (and probably determine) my accomplishments, and shape my future.

hey!

hey guys? kwani the blog design changed? am just in this kacyber checking the blogs and noticed the new design. had a good day with kibet-some swimming, some drinking (not alcohol), some talking and some eating. cheers guys have a good christmas.

Affirmative action!??!

Read this article on the Daily Nation of jana... that reported that the Ministry of Education is formulating a policy to limit the number of KCPE private school graduands joining top national public schools.

The Govt seems to have realised that they aren't really doing an excellent job at providing free education, prob. because the free education isn't helping its intended beneficiaries progress academically. Given that the elite of our beloved country many times carry the day, i strongly doubt that the intended policy will see the light of day.

But what if it does.... sad situation. The Ministry will be punishing the parent who sacrificed to make significant investment in the education of his child in a bid to allow the parent who didn't make any such sacrifice gain entry into the top nation institutions.

Affirmative action is, in my view, the wrong move to take. Somebody should take responsibility for the fallacy of free primary education, and make it right!

Google Transit - Just plain cool

Yet another of the reasons i want to work for google (cmon..u didnt know??) - they reward their employees with time to work on their own passions..something that is begrudgingly hard to do in my current Job.

So check it out, Google transit, allows you to do what youve always wanted to do..planning those small pesky trips in new cities or even in your eon neighbourhood.
It only works for Portland Oregon, but in no time will be all over the place.

A key Business Op for Africa following this is to develop the underlying structure for such data. System developers In Africa unite! We need such digital utilites yesterday!

Knowledge of self?

I wont concede whats making me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. It might just fizzle away, I'm wont to take that risk.

You will notice i changed the look and feel of this whole place - hence yesterdays renascence. I've realised since that i have made it a habit to be reborn, in every sense of the word. I enjoy stooping and rebuilding from worn out tools. I love the challenge of what the new will feel like - the fleeting promise of a new day, a high in its own right. It is in this time that I want reach out to others, to share , to revel in the brotherhood of my peers.

My fear is that I also secretly sadistically look forward to the flip side of that cycle - the death of things, the collapse, the very need to be reborn. What this reflects is a bizarre ambivalence that makes up the juice that keeps me ticking - day to day -week to week. It is in this time that I am, as so succincly put by Simon and garfunkel, a rock, an island, protected by my books (work) and poetry (programming). I find great solace in silence, in soaking in m own presence.

Whenever I resign to such 'who-am-I' thoughts, I am often tied down by the age old conundrum of nature vs nurture - and the evidence to point to both arguments is compelling enough to make me forget about the work i actually have to do - which is why i'll take this cue and head off to work. it'll be a good day - Carpe deim, or more appropriately , F U Monday blues...

Here I go..armed with a blurry knowledge of self - better than none at all.

Renaissance

I have come to accept that my writing skill set is now almost as acutely atrophied as my arm and chest muscle, but don't count me out yet from this blogging game, yet.

Perhaps my silence might have belied the vast amount of excitement and activity (read: fake it till you make it) currently going on in my life.

Ok really, I cannot believe I got through that with a straight face. Last few weeks have been a confirmation of what I always suspected - the mundane routine of corporate life really is the noose that tightens around ones entrepreneurial passions.

However not to cast an entirely dark cloud over the last few months - there have been some light moments, not in any order:

* Permanent Residency in Canada

* My rebirth into video gaming

* Job INsecurity

* I'm going going ..back back.. to NAI NAI

* Sibling Pride

* A delicate dance with Depression

* My Vision for Nchi Yetu Daily

I shall proceed writing about these as individual posts ... with such bludgeoning honesty that even I'm looking forward to it.

Listening to:
This way - Dilated peoples feat Kanye West

RE: till the wind bloweth my way

Tis done now, not to be undone. I scaled the heights and conquered the mountain. As I rest by the fountain and quench my thirst, I ponder, "Does anyone really care/know what the hell am talking about?!"
Howdi folks. Just about to clear my exams. Been a long time, running scripts,late-night crash courses in Unix/Linux, coupled by the very tribulations of being a young man in modern day Nairobi. Atleast now I can kick back and take a short respite, as I will indulge myself in MCSE over the short break. Atleast I get to see my chic moro, after 4 months! Kui,pliz be happy for me, coz I know u can relate......
By the way Deno,u stil at EA? Am asking coz been spending my time (poorly) playing NFS- most wanted deadly stuff. wat u workin on?
let me bid thee farewell, for the belly of the beast rumbles (for real am hungry).
gotta switch to de-caf.....

RE: Kibaki roareth

hi everyone! yes twas the silence reminiscent of the mute. but am back!
Happy thanksgiving y'all! saying that coz we got to givre thanks for the little we have. In the aftermath of this referendum, Kibaki dun did it! His critics had written him off as a senile,gutless, post-golf husk of a man.But wen push came to punch, Othaya did us proud. Let's just hope things dont get out of hand. Since he fired the whole cabinet, vibe has been rife about the turmoil we'll end up in. Went to a Kao barber shop and the Kaos were rogain the way we'll see melee if Kalonzo is excluded from the next cabinet. Luos are here chanting "Tsunami!" if Agwambo is relegated to the doldrums of govt business. Halfway thru my cut, some Masai rushed in chanting war cries on behalf of Ntimama if their king is not returned to his throne.
all we can do is sit, watch, eat and gain weight, and hope that his decision will unite the nation towards our development goals.

Salaams: digital referendum

Salaams people...

I know i know, lost, nimepotea .
(can u tell since turning 23 aIve grown a tad impatient??)

So Nov the 21st eh...d day is here. Hope u've all got your registration cards...

I thought it was kind of a bummer that we in the diaspora were not able to contribute to such a momentous time in our country's destiny - so in that i frustration i & chriso thought of recreating our own ka mini digital refurendum of our own.

Only we didnt want to recreate the trivializing and piliticizing that is this whole orange/ banana craziness, we thought it more prudent to actually READ the constitution, identify which issues we thought contentious (and yes we could be wrong), and then vote and discuss these issues.

So we:

1. Got our hands on the wako draft constitution.

2. chopped it up into chapters and sections.

3. through the results into a BLOG.

4. Modified the commenting form to mimic a virtual ballot: so for each section, you can vote Yes/No and optionally give reasons or views on your position.

5. We tally these Yes/No's (on the fly) of only what we thought were the nationally contentious issues:

Appointment and functions of prime minister

State Functions of the President

Dual citizenship

Unit of devolution

I purposely didn't hotlink them so that you can browse through the referendum blog and find em.

6. We display the results in a mock up 'referendum watch' on Nchi Yetu Daily.

Now given the speed with which this fun lil project was put up - rest assured it is far from full proof : you currently can vote more than once for an issue - although we are somewhat naively optimistic that Kenyan bloggers are far to busy to get involved in such petty malice and will be responsible digital citizens.

Anyway I urge you all to piga those virtual milolongos and encourage others with internet access to participate as well by emailing the link to NYD and Referendum blog. Voting is anonymous, although email is required ONLY to avoid spamming. If there is anything worth forwarding, it is this chance to virtual referendum vote.

Happy voting wananchi!

Constitution Advertising

I was driving home jana evening along Uhuru Highway, when i heard some guys on radio [who sounded kidogo like Deux Vultures] singing the tune 'Easy like Ndizi. Vote Yes!' . While earlier in the morning on my way to work along the same Highway (in creeping traffic) i heard the No tune 'I am Sober. Vote No!'

Its amazing how much these guys have spent on advertising and campaigning for their respective positions. Any loss of votes will surely not be for want of a tidy campaign budget on either side.

Sikiza musiki: Orange No Campaign- Mapambo, I am Sober, No Hatuitaki
Banana Yes Campaign- Song 1, Song 2, Song 3. (I'm not hating- their songs just don't have titles!)

Please do vote!

RE: what...marriage?

good for Cherry...but my memory fail me. Cowi u say she was in our class?
by the way Deno, since ur my tech guru, could you help me with a free web hosting service? am designing a site for a class project and am hpoing to get a few ideas on banners,flash ads and eweb site stickability.

Going to the Chapel and we're....gonna get married

No it ain't me

I never thought we'd be here this fast (or does this only seem fast to me..just yesterday Mr. Matu was giving us special attantion) but guess what...one of our classmates is now getting married.

Yes Cherry is getting married.

Woe unto those who won't be able to attend we'll take a camera with us.

But CONGRATULATIONS Cherry its not every day a person is able to find that someone who just fits and makes life that much more worthwhile.

XxX

the beers

Its alll about the ndovu...

Just reminiscing over a summer well spent...

wallapa people?!

with all due respect to the Office

It was only last night, that my cousin drew my attention to Kibaki's most recent description of the No (Orange) Team led by among other luminaries- Raila and Kalonzo. My conservative tongue, which would only use the derogatory term pumbafu (now commonly used in ordinary public parlance by H.E.) under my breath (and still have this unpleasant taste of defilement in my mouth) - was utterly astonished to learn that H.E. called his ever faithful cabinet members mavi ya kuku!

That such insults were not used in any of the schools that i attended, does not lend any credence whatsoever to the golf playing aristocrat that H.E. has previously portrayed of himself. It simply doesn't make sense. Perhaps behind this swanky proper demeanor that we besmurge upon ourselves or unconsiously bear (whichever the case), lies this uncanny and puzzling personality: how else would we describe his careless outbursts.

Anyway... the above notwithstanding, with all the respect due to the Office, the occupant should find a kindergarten teacher for some Polite Language 101, or stick to written speeches from the highly qualified head of the Presidential Press Unit. Failing which, he most probably will be the undoing of his campaign.

ps. the linked article is not referenced for the journalists views (which i don't subsribe to), but for his quotation of H.E.'s various crude slips of the tongue

Compelling movie!

I finally got to watch 'The Diary of a mad black woman' and boy!!!! was i
impressed!

I was totally carried away by the level of Tyler Perry's talent in music
writing (having written some of the music for the movie), his story
creation, and his multiple roles in the flick! I have mad respect for this
artist- most particularly because of his faith and the clarity of the
message in the 'diary' and given that this is his first movie. Astounding!

The intensity of the emotional scenes couldn't have been done any better-
and Steve Harris and Kimberly Elise... tsk tsk tsk.... perfect choice,
great quadruple of eyes and talent!

You can probably tell how smitten i was- had to watch the whole thing over
again wit commentary plus all the special features. The simplicity of the
story, as compassionately narrated and delicately yet so intensely
rendered transformed (in my case) what would have been jus another black
movie into a compelling and inspirational epic.

I am definitely watching Tyler's next flick!

Take your time on this

Best friends become that for tiny things they don't even realise. My best friend always knows how to make me rethink life and decisions.

Anyway she shared this with me and I think it'd be good for you all to take time off and read it. never know it might inspire you for greatness ( because you all have inbuilt greatness)

XxX
Kui


...a great reminder when you don't feel like going on....it's by Ishmael Osekre...wonderful wonderful wonderful poet. enjoy!


Once upon a 2:30am

Its 2:30am, sun and moon have exchanged places in the skies, but I am still in the library; writing a paper I do not have to present tomorrow. Sleep has embraced the world around me in a city that doesn't sleep but, my eyes refuse to close and my mind insists on staying awake. Ideas are running through my mind at a pace faster than my fingers can move to write. It is not the first time and it doesn't feel like it will be the last.

I stop to ask myself why I am up at 2:30am in the morning, writing a paper I do not have to present tomorrow. I try to find reasons why I am up at this time of the night, but I find none. I think of my bed and I remember it is comfortable. I think of the air conditioner and I find nothing wrong with it. I think of coffee but I have not drunk coffee. I think of my room mate but he is quietly asleep.

I spend the rest of the time between my thoughts and my paper, like the pendulum swings, trying to make an argument on my writing paper at the same time, hoping to find answers to what is making me stronger than myself.

While writing on my paper about roots and wings; about why if my roots do not teach me, my wings will never know and why I amongst other things, I can never forget my roots and wings that have brought me here, I feel my words gain momentum and my sentences illuminate with color. In worlds of thoughts, amidst shapes and forms of imagery, I discover "it".

I discover why I am up at 2:30am in the morning, writing a paper I do not have to present tomorrow. I discover why sleep has embraced the world around me in a city that doesn't sleep but my eyes refuse to close. In an instance, in fractions of seconds I discover at the table I sit to write my paper that, I represent more than myself. I discover at the only illuminated table of the night in the library that, I represent the countless number of people who have added to roots that hold me in the rocks whose inspiration have given me wings to fly.

I represent those values which informed me that, "hard work breaks no bones," when I was growing up in Kokomlemle in Accra. I represent the advice to be better, the motivation to be stronger, the caution of knocks, and the ancestral proverbial wisdom that was imparted whether I was ready or not. I represent those I did business with on the streets in Accra when I carried cold water in plastic bags. It was a short experience, but an always to be remembered enterprise.

I represent my junior secondary school teacher Mr. Nyaonu, whose name I will not always remember but whose advice I will not forget. He took me outside the classroom one fine day and told me, "When people are meant to be exceptional, sometimes, their qualities are detected when they are young'' and he said, "You will be an exceptional one in the future."

I represent the young men of Kokomlemle who I grew up with. I represent those young men I left behind at home, who I helped to do homework and took inspiration from me and those adults whose words of advice were most crucial when I needed to be talked to as a child; they confirm the African saying that, "It takes a village to raise a child."

Its 2:30am, sun and moon have exchanged places in the skies, but I am still in the library; writing a paper I do not have to present tomorrow. The hunger that has kept me up will not cease; the hunger that I feel will not be satiated by food and water. As I write my paper, I am reminded that, I represent more than myself. I represent women who trade their property for their children to receive an education they did not have: my mother. I represent "Rabbi" the priest who refused to sack me home for fees and allowed me to go through high school for those debt stacked final years uninterrupted until my fees were paid later. He gave me the chance.

I represent Ms. C.S. Acheampong who must always be mentioned in the hall of fame of teachers/mothers who gave their students the best mentoring at the high school level. She took my first poems and essays and helped me find legs for words to walk on.

I represent Kojo Oppong Adjei, the radio DJ/programme director of Sunny fm in Ghana who discovered me at the University of Ghana, Legon, he negotiated an air time and a salary for me to have my first media experience on radio without prior training or expertise and insisted I went to school to gain tertiary education because he saw a lot more in me than I saw in myself. Kojo believed in me.

As I sit at this table to write, I represent Demay Ackah -Yensu the lady who spotted me at the British Council and made me a weekly guest amongst other guests she hosted on the book review segment on Metro TV in Accra. I will not forget her last words to me that, "I am a gem" before I left home for the US.

I represent Mr. Tom Pigmann who told me during my first month in the US that, "Osekre, I know your spirit will grow to fill up the places of New York." A motivation which drove me to successfully audition at the Apollo theatre, to get a spot on a community based station on Wall Street and to successfully host a poetry event at the Bowery poetry club in New York.
I represent those generations unborn whose lives will meet mine and whose ability to see further will depend on the shoulders that support my arm. I must not disappoint them. I represent the many more whose stories I can't tell but will never forget.

Sweet inspiration has embraced me on this quiet night of sweet encounters. I feel wisdom cooks the pots and inspiration feeds my thoughts and imagination spreads itself through my faculties. At one point I am contemplating truth, at the other, I am imbibing it. At one point I am taking leaps, at the other, I am making flights with invisible wings.

It is the year 2005, and I am at the threshold of a remarkable educational experience. An experience that has its challenges and its glories both of which I am willing to embrace.

Rejoinder: Random RandomThoughts

The random thoughts expressed evoked this rejoinder:

why havent I moved out of this shoebox?
he he he! you must be (i) broke, (ii) not anxious to leave the pretty maiden next door, or (iii) moving out's just too much work for you!

What is my purpose here?
hmmnn. Prov. 15:22: Where there is no counsel, purposes are disappointed; but in the multitude of counsellors they are established! Give it more thought and more prayer- na utatambua!

Can I make a difference?
Differences are often made in small bits and many times the best deeds will go unnoticed or complemented. Then again, we wouldn't want our heads to grow with each positive impact that we have on this world or members thereof.

Who is my friend?
At this point i wonder if the questions were rhetoric! (but i nonetheless continue- this is more interesting than the piles of files on my desk!) Anyway... "Trust ye not in a neighbor; put ye not confidence in a friend; keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. For the son dishonoreth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house. But as for me, I will look unto Jehovah; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me." (the highlighted part gave me a brief laugh!)

Why does money mean so much? so little?
To me, it means more than it ought to (more than i want it to). This adrenaline rushes on pay day halafu the mightly slump that ensues after the budget is drawn ! ... 'but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don’t break through and steal' (Matt 6:20)

What would my sister look like?
lol! I know how stunning mine is! Nonetheless... Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised. (Prov. 31:30)

Are we slaves of social or genetic fabric?
Took too much thought time!

I have given up trying to be cool.
To some extent, thats the way it should be.
Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

Why cant I put on any weight?
Pole chief, i've also gongad rock on that one! Anyone out there with an answer!?

Complacency is my worst enemy.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint (Isiaih 40:30-31) or get complacent!

Deno, i actually enjoyed doing this, more than i figure you will reading it! Blessings!

random random thoughts

why havent I moved out of this shoebox?

What is my purpose here?

Can I make a difference?

Who is my friend?

Why does money mean so much? so little?

What would my sister look like?

Are we slaves of social or genetic fabric?

I have given up trying to be cool.

I miss my parents.

Why cant I put on any weight?

Complacency is my worst enemy.

Cant wait to be immersed in something i really love.

Patience is such a valauble trait.

I need to go to bed. early.

AFLEWO 2005

Hi good people,

Finally the Aflewo 2005 Worship service is here..

This Friday 23rd september 2005 at NPC Karen From 9 pm till dawn

That's not all. If you get your hands on the AFLEWO flyer, you have the privelege of purchasing Nescafe at your nearest Nakumatt outlet at a discount. All you need to do produce it when purchasing nescafe products. This offer is valid till 31st of october 2005.

How about that for spiritual and physical nourishment.

Hope to see yo'all (that are in Nairobi) on Friday at Aflewo 2005.

Kibet Chebii

RE: Close Calls

Hi All,

In light of Denis' last post, I found this that should lift spirits.I'ev also been having some hell of my own and this totally cheered me up.

Enjoy.


Malachi 3:3: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."


This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this
statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women
offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group
at their next Bible Study.


That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch
him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest
beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.


As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and
let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the
silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn
away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought
again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of
silver."


She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front
of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. He answered yes, he
not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on
the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a
moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.


The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do
you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered,
"Oh, that's easy -when I see my image in it."


If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye
on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.