You and Drugs

Hey guys, how are you doing? Hope you are all fine. Long time eyy?
Well, drug trafficking/smuggling has become an issue of concern, over the last like 5 months. That is, here in the Land Down Under.

Remember before you left for your respective host countries…
Mum: Make sure you lock your luggage. Make sure you keep your luggage with you at all times. Don’t trust anyone you meet at the airport.
You: (thinking) what is she rambling on about. Yeah Yeah Yeah... (You say)
Mum: Listen…
You: Ahh. I heard you the first time, wacha kunisumbua.
Mum: (mumbling) Asiyefunzwa na mamaye, hufunzwa na ulimwengu.
You: What?
Mum: Nothing. Sitaki kukusumbua.

Consider the following scenarios:
Scenario I
You’ve been in your host country for a couple of years, and you decide to go home for the holidays. Then, the holidays are up and you are back in JKIA returning to your host country. You have problems both at home and in the host country. A well-dressed man walks up to you…
Man: Is everything ok?
You: No, not really. Don’t want to talk about it.
Man: Come on get if off your chest.
You: I have so many problems.
Man: Well, I can solve your problems.
You: Am listening…
Man: I will give you $ 1 million right now, if you carry ‘this’ to your destination.
You: (thinking) AUD$ 1M almost Ksh 60M. What do I do? My rent is overdue. I have been unable to finish paying fees. My granny is sick in hospital and there is no money to pay for her much needed operation. My parents are broke… etc
WHAT DO YOU DO?

Scenario 2
You are in the airport. Right then (for the men) you see a well endowed tall blonde, short skirt, full red lips and legs reaching Korogocho. (For the ladies) You see a tall, dark and well handsome guy. Large green-grey eyes, very dark medium length locks, lean but muscular, 5 o’clock shadow beard… Is it getting hot here ama it’s just me. (Let me turn on the fan, setting no. 2.) Ok, they see you staring at them like a person who has the biggest eyes without eyelids. They have seen their prey.
The Hotties: Can sit here?
You: Yes Yes!
After a few niceties here, chit chats there and giggles, guffaws and snorts everywhere…
The Hotties: (smiling sexily) its hot in herrrre right? (the chic- undoes one button and pulls the skirt a little bit higher. A kabead of sweat drips into her cleavage) (the guy- he undoes 2 buttons, his chest is just there staring at you)
You: (drooling bucketfuls of saliva) Yeah very hot indeed….
Your bladder: Hey you? Empty me, empty me!!!
You: Shut up you whinger! WAIT UNTIL WE GET INTO THE PLANE. CAN”T YOU SEE AM ABOUT TO GET LUCKY!
Your bladder: Geez, you don’t have to be such a yeller. I’ll wait then.
While you are debating with your bladder, the Hotties see your legs fidgeting.
The Hotties: Is everything ok? You seem pressed. Maybe you should go to the ladies/gents. I’ll look after your luggage.
You: OK
You bladder and brain: No, maybe you shouldn’t, not without your luggage.
You: SHUT UP!
And you go. When you get back from the ladies/gents, your hottie suddenly wants to make a call or get a sandwich. Last time to see them.
When you reach your host country, you’re caught with drugs. ‘They are not mine.’ You say. You've been duped by your hottie.
WHO WILL BELIEVE YOU?

Scenario 3
You and your so-called trusted friend are going for a holiday. What you know about your ‘friend’- such a wonderful friend. What you don’t know- They loathe and detest you because you have it all together. They want to be better than you. How do they do this- ruin your life by putting an illegal substance in your luggage. For example, Bridget Jones’ Diary: Edge of Reason- Bridget was caught with drugs in Bangkok Airport and her friend left her at the time of greatest need. Now if you do not have a BF or GF who is a high-flying international human rights lawyer, to get you out of jail like Mark Darcy/Dashing Mr. Darcy/Colin Firth, you will die and rot for sure. (Hey Colin, if you are reading this blog, post a comment and include your number…) Ohhh Colin (Fan setting no. 4)
Sorry for the brief detour, I was imagining Colin…mmm (sigh) Anyway back to the blog.

• A number of Aussies have been caught drug trafficking in Bali-Indonesia. They all claim that they are innocent. The first one to be arrested was student Shappelle Corby. On arrival, customs asked to open her body bag, she refused. She admitted that she had drugs, which were not there when she had left Australia. The Aus govt. suspects that baggage handlers put drugs into the body bag. Her sentencing options were the Death Penalty or Mandatory Life Imprisonment. Luckily, she escaped the Death Penalty. We hope that she will also be able to escape the life sentence as well. The final sentence will be handed down by the end of this month.
  
• 3-4 weeks ago, 8 men and 1 woman (btn ages 19-29) were caught in Bali Airport, the drugs strapped to their bodies. One of the guys is thought to be the god-father. He is currently in a separate jail-cell, because it is thought that he has threatened to harm the families of his mates, if they fail to maintain silence. They may face life imprisonment.
  
• Two days ago, a guy (probably in his mid-30s-early 40s) was caught with hashish. He says it’s for personal use, but he is facing the prospect of a 10 year jail sentence.
  

The moral of this long winding blog is: Be careful. Don’t be a know it all. Lock your luggage and be with your luggage at all times. Don’t trust anyone at the airport and choose your friends wisely.