V.I. Travel Guide: Australia(Perth), with Victoria K.

Let's talk about.....Australia, Perth in particular.

It has come to my attention, that some of you (i won't mention names) have absolutely no idea about Australia, mmmmm what a bloody shame. If I asked one of you what do you think about Aussie, I believe your answers would be as follows: "Kangaroos come from Aussie, si ndiyo?" "Si it's near New Zealand..." So what...Aussie is the home of Kangaroos and its near NZ, and then?
So, I am taking it upon myself to teach you about Oz and Perth. You have to know these things you guys eh? Do you know that ignorance killed the cat...or did it? Wee Kariuki is this the right saying? Kariuki tells me no such saying exists, he says am ignorant...shish... eti ignorant, that word does not exist in my vocabulary.

Anyhoo, let me give you the 411 on Aussie:
Settled in 1788, became a federation in 1901 and a federal constitution was adopted in that same year. So, Aussie is officially known as the Commonwealth of Australia. Australia is a monarchy, the monarchy being Queen Liz 2. The flag is navy blue on the background and has the British Union Jack, the Commonwealth Star and the Southern Cross (constellation).

The PM is John Howard, opposition leader as of last week is Kim Beazley. Being a federation, Aussie is divided into 6 states and 2 territories;
State or territory Capital
i) Western Australia(WA) Perth
ii) South Australia(SA) Adelaide
iii) Queensland(QLD) Brisbane
iv) Victoria (VIC) this is true) Melbourne
v) New South Wales(NSW) Sydney
vi) Tasmania(TAS) Hobart
vii) Australian Capital Territory(ACT) Canberra (Oz's Capital City)
viii) Northern Territory(NT) Darwin

Perth, WA...according to Viki
Most beautiful city in Australia. It's a 'multiculural' society (that's what the politicians say)...tumechanganyika hapa kama sisimizi na kwambia- waafrika, waitaliano, waufaransa, wakingereza, kila mtu. Nightlife-if you want to go clubbn, that is if you ever visit this place, go to Safari Bar(owned by a Kenyan and looks like a smalll Carni), Burswood and Harbourside.
If you want to go for a romantic getaway (this is strictly for people with gacungwas or side mbisikits), the best place to go is known as Margaret River-a very sophisticated place, which boasts of wineries, beautiful white sandy beaches, etc, etc.
Now, kama huna mboiflend au ngaoflend or what polite people are likely to say, eti 'if you are unattached', you can go anywhere here in WA-anywhere is good fun. Now I said Perth is behind, that is not so (that was bad publicity). Infact, some guy called Notorious BIG hit here like 3-4 months ago. Now who has ever heard of Notorious, the one you guys know passed...take that! we are sooo ahead, I tell you.

Sasa, mkiulizwa maswali juu ya Aussie, mtajibu taratibu sivyo? I don't want to hear answers like, "that's where Nicole Kidman comes from..." ama "it's that hot place with Aboriginal people."
And if we ever meet don't ask me questions like, "have you ever been to Ramsay Street, where Neighbours is shot?" You will answer that question yourself.
Ok, enough of me and Aussie for now. I think we need more Travel Guides from other parts of the world.
Ciao

whose bored?i am

hey guys? well i dunno what to say. i've been joboing and sleeping most of the time and nothing much has been happening. I've been wanting to chat to any of you guys when i get the chance and when i get comp access but i always can't get any of u guys bcoz u r either asleep ama u r busy(working, friends, chuo, etc). so if any of u is bored just holla, i'll be ready to chat, for like the next 2 weeks b4 i go back to uni. thanks take care.

Thomas: I think facebook is only for guys in the states.

John Legend has finally fikad Aussie, but only one song, titled,"When i used to love you" or something like that. I only heard it once at 6 am in the morning (now seriously who would be listening to the radio at this time?). So much for being happy that Mr Legend was finally gettn Aussie airplay.

As if bills pockets werent fat enough..

Did the Chinese suddenly stop pirating windows? Did they restrategise? Where is all this money coming from anyway? can the Gaming market really be that big???

agagolafn(tongue tied)...youll understand why when you read about Microsoft's profits doubling this quarter

I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above

I dont know if any of you ahve heard this hym - but it is my absolute favourite. As a young lad at Starehe we would sing this at evening assembly , and man i tell you the sound of about 1000 (hungry) mid-teen age bass voices echoing along our majestic assembly hall, along with the passion and excitement evoked by this hym - it was truly something. I will speka more on the magical moments that were my high school experience at Starehe..they are well worth re-living on this blog!

O enough banter..prepare to be moved..
I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above

Natulenge Juu!!!

RE: Mad ancient arts

man deno, jus seen the trailer of that flick, I must say its a must watch. Am sad to say that i didnt watch crouching tiger, coz of the poor reviews i heard about it. But i will now go and look for this and Hero, i love epics.
The chic is .....how do i put this......MMEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
point to note, we may often take this for granted, but do we actually study our texting habits?careful how fast u send your next txt, and to whom! its got me doing a lot of explaining!!


Souls, pliz tell me wats the big deal about this Guevara dude? Been seeing merchandise all over, but when i ask guys, most of the replies go like, "Dude, just thot the t-shirt looks cool".

che in the making

che in the making
Originally uploaded by angeltouch.

k! so jana we went to watch 'motorcycle diaries'...i know that its been out for a while..but we were waiting till 'cheeap tuesday' on campus!
soo...ive always known that Che Guevara was some sort of a 'different' kind of revolutionary...and as a student of politics, im embarassed to say that i ahve yet to read his FULL storo...but this movie!!!
WA WA WA !! lets just say that
1. the CHE merchandise will be bought
2. South America is BEAUTIFUL
3. ain't nothing wrong with doing what you believe

if you havent watched it! its about the period in Che's life BEFORE he got involved in political movements, when Che was still thought of as just a regular jamaa who wanted to be a doctor!!
PLEASE GO WATCH IT!!!
and the cinematography is TO DIE FOR!!!!

Shi mian mai fu

Your Chinese that bad eh...well mine has been picking up after i spent like half an hour configuring subtitles for the afore named flick..ok in ENGLISH:

Just watched House of Flying Daggers and was so awestruck by Zhao Xiaoding's (same guy who did Hero) cinematography,there is no surprise behind the Bafta nominations it has recieved.

The best foreign language film snub for the Oscars is another story(shame on you academy!)...Overall the film had me to wondering:

1) China is an incredibly beautiful place..shouldnt it be tourist capital of the world??
2) zhang ziyi of crouching tiger hidden draggon fame is stunning!! there is a heated debate with my buddy if she is the hottest oriental chic that ever walked the planet..if you dont agree maybe you might want to look here, here and here.
2.5) on that note, why do women who kick butt always end up so much more appealing?
3) isnt Kung fu the shiiiit?!!!
4) not to get philosopical or anything..but is true love really about whether or not u will give ur life for them (literally as in die for them or figureatively as in give up all your hopes and dreams through marraige hehe)? the director of this flick has addresed this theme twice (first in Hero). Cant we all jus live happily ever after together???

and most important..
5) What am i doing watching movies on a tuesday night when ive got so much work to do????? (dont answer that please, let me save face)

RE: gold fish

Thomas, speaking about gold fish, i think am that blue fish in 'Finding Nemo', can't keep anything in. Like Homer, when i learn something new, it pushes the old stuff outta my brain!
how do i get to see these nice gadgets guys be sporting, plus ur more memorable occasions?.....what was i saying?......Mum, you there?

RE: Yo soy caliente!!

Cowi funny thing, i fell for that close up gig too. Went the whole 9yards and got the 'special' close-up toothbrush,and the whitener chart. Sorry to say, i jumped on the next new toothpaste's wagon. But that thing actually brightens,just give it time.....lots of it.

Since we talking fantasies, mine was in Spanish class. Twas a scalding day when Spanish was boring. "Hola!....blah blah" went the teacher. The door cracked open.
"Is this the Spanish class?" In the sweetest voice i've heard in soooo long! I turn around slowly, can't lose my cool.
This very preety, african sister of proper proportions checks in. I go like, "WO!", with the sound of horses neighing resounding in my brain box.Get to know she goes by the name Slyvia.
I smile, not too goofy, just like Joey of "How you doin....?" fame.
Fast forward 2 weeks. So we're doing group work in class. Am in this tired group where the chics (was the only guy) are burying their heads in the course text, ok I know, should have been doing the same, but don't they say make learning an adventure?
Pause: Who are "they"?
The lecture,Senorita Rosa, comes over and says that we're too many in our group and she wants someone to move to the other group.@ guesses whose group she's pointing to....Slyvia's!
"Don't panic! Score one for the team!" I tell myself. So i glide over. She looks up from her books, smiles and gestures to the seat next to her. I accept (duh!). Since it's group work, we get to chat a lot. We're supposed to organise a trip, in Spanish. So we chat about it being on the Valz weekend, where to stay.....
Good sign, she's smiling at me like from ear-to-ear, and she's put away her books!so we endelea like that till the end of class. As i get up to leave, i drop my specs, thank her for the enjoyable session, and wish a nice day. I swear she blushed!!!
Next class is 2moro, so we'll how it goes. Mojo don't fail me now!

And I quote

"The effect of such a long 'rehab' is that i dont know what to talk about now that i'm back.."

For a guy with nothing to say you sure have outdone yourself. I may not be speaking for the whole of VI but your absence was surely felt.

However, the reason I came in to day was not so much to welcome the prodigal home but to vent about TOOTHPASTE ....I know what is with me and toothpaste anyway.

Anyway, this morning I go into the bathroom to spruce up on my dentures and find we have yet another deviation in the close up range in our bathroom...its is now official that when it comes to toothpaste we are definately consumers...I mean can't we just stick to traditional white colgate?

So I open the blue(somehing good at least blue is my fav colour) close -up I believe extra whitening tub, and onto my toothbrush slides a light blue gel with thousands of dark blue, white and lighter blue speckles(yes Denis I'm sure they must have names like azure or sea blue or whatever...but your the expert here no?) If anyone has seen facial scrubs, exfoliators and the like well thats what it looks like.If you haven't, get a girlfriend or visit the nearest department store.

The whole time I was brushing my teeth I wondered who it was that thought i needed them scrubbed ??????? What happened to bristles and their efficiency??? What is the big deal with toothpaste anyway ??????!!!!!!?????

It really is an insane world...

Kenyan Blogger bandwagon grows..

check out daktari, a kenyan post-doc blogging from the UK. (prpare for a lenghty but interesting read.) -> to daktari..paragraphs are your friend hehe..

Laundry room honour

One of my bizarre fantasies has always been tied to meeting someone in the laundry room and fall madly in love with them right there on sight..(the rest of that fantasy I'll keep to myself haha). So keeping my hopes alive i decide to carry a book(intellectual enough, nothing too preppy) to read as i wait for my laudry to wash and dry. Away to the laundry room I am..

So 10 minutes into the tumbling and drying walks in this jungu chic who can easily fit into this fantasy..but u know me ..play it cool, brush the dirt off my shoulder..haha so she falls right in the nonchalant charm and initiates vibe and before u know it are chatting away. Now she's moving her stuff from the washer to the dryer as we chat, but not paying very much atention to what she's doing...

So just as she's done with her final load, she drops something..as fate would have it, it was one of her thongs..one of those old abuuused undergarments that all of us undoubtedly have atleast one of. Nothing to be proud of..hehe..lakini this one ai hapana. I didnt have the heart to tell her. Either that or she walked out of the laundry room too fast. I'm thinking she'll be sooo embarassed, and me running to tell her that she dropped one her really really old thongs just seems over the top.

So i decide wacha i let her save face..this way my hopes of a laundry room fantasy stay alive haha..but thing is she'll be back soon as her stuff dries, and it'll appear akward that i didnt notice a ngotha staring me in the face and i was in the room the entire time!!!..shoot so i decide i'll give it like 2 minutes till the room is guaranteed empty then i'll throw it in the dryer for her like nothing happened. The thought alone of anyone (not to mention her!) walking into the room to find me holding a thong is enough to break a cold sweat. I ended up chucking it in the dryer for her in lightning speed.

So i took the higher road, lets just hope karma will smile upon me in my next laundry session.

All corners of the continent

Just but one of the myraid of reasons i love flickr..

Pay close attention to the subject's eyes: to me they communicate a a strong message of pain and joy, of poverty and wealth, despair and hope, contentment and disdain.

A beautiful visual commentry on the faces of Africa.

What do they say to you?

[ All credit to "Departure Lounge" of flickr for brilliant photography! ]

miss me?

In what seemed ike a mini eternity, not that much has happened. hard it may to be believe, I survived my 1 week of VI abstinence. Every time that i would begin to type the virtual insanity URL into my address bar, a vision of Dr Griffin (in his NYS uniform) would appear in a cloud (pre-empted by thunder and lightning) infront of me and in severe reproach tell me of the virtues of discipline...ahh all those dreaded years at Starehe were actually good for something. You would think that this 1 week absence would lead to a dramatic increase in porductivity - but Parkinsons law took full effect.

The effect of such a long 'rehab' is that i dont know what to talk about now that i'm back..so lemme stick to the ever-safe 'hali ya hewa'- what is really insane is how unforgiving the weather has been past two days..There's no more room to feel like a ninja and venture outside without headscarf and/or gloves..and i tell you this from experience now that the edges of my ears still hurt from last nights assault. Mpaka ive resorted to heating the crib by cranking up the oven! Ghetto as it may appear, its actually a pretty nifty solution given that i cant control the 'legit' heating system.

The winter does have its benefits...for one I dont have to stop and exchange those meaningless pleasantries with randomn acquantances on campus - a mere nod of acknowledgement suffices! Ive become very tired and cynical of the routine jungu banter in fear of adopting it.

good to be back though..will be blogging you all under the carpet in no time!

BIENG 20 SOMETHING

Being Twenty-Something (This puts it all into words perfectly.) They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realise is that they are realising that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socialising with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realise that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is t he enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. WE ARENT ALONE in this state of confusion!!!

Re: iiiim back & Hawkers

1st... DAMN!!! Thomas thats a fat deadly gadget you got!!!!

Olympics... (pls keep in mind my firm anti-olympics nairobi 2016 stance) well, i must concede that the publicity aroused by Ayako's announcement must have its advantages and it surely has put us in the map. I'd bet that it doesnt hurt to have our country mentioned in international news every so often... keeping Kenya ringing in people's heads, surely will help when marketing Kenya as a tourist destination and cause quite some curiosity on what we have to offer. On the other hand, it has inspired/ gotten some of us to think about how far away we are, in capacity, from the western or developed countries of the world. We can look forward to the day that we can host the World Cup or Olympics comfortably and work towards it. I must pat the Minister on the back for bringing that dream to the front of our minds... one day it won't sound incredulous... the suggestion that Kenya can host the Olympics. What the heck... we are the future!?

Hawkers... Thomas you are right... there was a time when the hawkers were kicked out of town and sent into alleys/ vichochoros from where they would sell their wares and if they were found selling stuff in CBD, they would be arrested. Actually that is the current status, they are not allowed in the CBD. The Minister ordered them out of the Alleys/Vichochoros (alleys sounds too nice) just the other day and they are now to be relocated to some markets that the Council/Govt is constructing in Ngara and other places. My take on it... i preferred having them in the alleys because then they were easily accessible to the Nairobi Citizenry at any time i.e. after work one was able to walk down the alleys (when the sun is still up) till about 6.30 and buy your tomatoes or your clothes etc. So both the hawkers and the citizenry benefited. I personally pigad laps down the alleys sometimes and i found it pretty safe. The Minister complained about safety but i think if that was the problem then the guy should have gotten his Council Askaris to provide security and further to weka good lighting among other security measures. Anyway, wherever they will be taken, if it is much further out of the CBD, their clientele will drastically reduce and they'l make much less in sales because those customers who would go shopping after work will not be able to get a matatu to Ngara at 5pm to shop then get back to town to board another matatu to take them home. EVen if they wanted to, it would be extrememly hectic because of the 5pm traffic. I fear that the Minister just wanted to feature in the news or become relevant, having lacked any other means of flexing his muscles or looking active and beneficial to the Govt. Just like charlene said 'When the Cats Away': it aint helping in job creation at all!!.

On the other hand, and away from the defeatist doomsday attitude, its about time that we de-clog or decongest the city of nairobi. There's just too much activity in the city which should be spread out to its outskirts. The CBD needs to grow to meet, match and facilitate economic growth. Matatus and buses... something needs to be done about their stages. The streets in my view need to get wider. We need to actually pull some buildings down and start thinking about a plan to make Nairobi a more efficient city. And that can not be done by Musikari (i shouldnt go round naming names, aint wise) that can't be done by the Minister for Local Govt., the Mayor and the Provincial Commissioner alone. Some sort of commission should be constituted to work out a major plan about how our CBD transport infrastructure should look like, where we want to have our markets, how much office/housing space we want to allocate to the CBD, etc. So maybe the Minister has his head looking in the right direction, just needs more top notch Govt croonies to join him.

Dear Administrators... i noticed a 'tag' feature the other day. Kindly fafanua how it works

RE; Today's quirky quote

Love thy neighbour....just don't get caught!!!

Got you smiling aint it?

WHEN THE CATS AWAY

The milk is plenty....Ok Deno I am about to believe you haven't been to the blog. I took my time to blog hoping you'd just shout that no onw was blogging and we'd catch you out... I have greater faith in your resilience. How much more impressive do you get.

so heres my rant. Ok just a few things that have been bothering me since I came home in order of their impotance

1. Why does colgate herbal look and taste like awuafresh herbal?
2. Why does colgate (the read one I think fresh breath) look and taste like Close Up?
3. Why are the nimechill adverts so unappealing compared to trust ones?
4. Why are most Kenyan chicks I've met soo protective of their men. What am I missing here?
5. Why are we kicking Hawkers of the street when Kibaki clearly said everyone should work and the 40 000 or so jobs have not been created?
6. What is the big deal with KERORO??
7. Why are Kenyan shoppers made to feel apologetic and like thieves when they attempt to purchase anything over a few thousand shillings?
8. Why are some Matatu's just labelled 'mini hengs' some of those long rides home from tao feel like I've been in da club!!!
9. Whats with prosecuting a journalist if we have right to free speech???(on that note soo glad that case is out tha door)
10. Whats with soo many africans dying all over the place in internal clashes and the rest of the world pretending its not a biig deal?
11. Why is it easier to ask WHO'S FARTED in the company of people I don't know ?
12. Why do people cringe when I announce I'm takinig a nature call??? Don't we all???



When I remember the rest I'll get back to you....

Hawkers!

ya i know, looks like i've come back 4m the great beyond....
was jus thinking the other day wea that word came from...hawkers. My knowledge of a hawk is a predatory bird with superior hunt&kill skills,like lightening coming in for the kill. Before u know it,it's made of with that piece of chicken you were raising to ur gaping mouth...quite a common feature at Kenyan weddings!
Hawkers in the CBD operate in much the same way. The appear out of nowhere and pester u to buy their goods.The particularly aggresive ones are those on the highways. They strike at peak traffic hours,during jams. And many a motorist have lost their belongings to these wolves in sheep wear.
Ours are the only hawkers in the world who demand it as their right to sell their wares in the city centre. Do you know anywhere else that this happens? I support the government in their decision to relocate these guys out of town. It may seem cruel, but thats the only way. My opinion was cemented when i saw a very funny incident. Was walking down Tom Mboya St near Afya house (i dont advise it, that place is a war zone with muggers lurking). A bus was negotiating the corner to get into the bus park. Now knowing such large vehicles they need to be given room to do this. As the driver was swinging out as is necessary, some women selling tomatoes and stuff started screaming as they jumped out of the way. They then pelted the bus with the tomatoes while hurling unprintables in vernacular. Note, they had laid their tomatoes on the road.
What you guys think?

DOOMSDAY

This is one of those afternoons when despite having lots of reports to
write.... i have absolutely no incentive to get any of them off my desk.
Its that time of the year i.e. the END of the month of JANUARY. It surely
doesnt get worse. To make my incentive even less, our accountant decides
to bail and leaves his office in a mess, which office i must organise and
get running before his replacement checks in. Anyway... this is not the
forum to rumble. Lets talk Kenya.

The Planning Minister was the guest on Talkline on KTN yesterday and it
was quite an enlightening and interesting show. The week earlier, Louis
had interviewed Musikari Kombo and i wrote the Minister off. The guys
conceded with no sense of remorse that the City Council is bila records
for auditors- internal or external to prepare any sort of balance sheet
or profit/loss statement and Kombo didnt have any serious strategy. It
was depressing. So last night when Anyang Nyongo, the Full Proff! was
hosted by Luois, the Government came out standing head high. He had
concrete solutions (well convincing would be the better adjective) and he
had full grasp of various developmental projects that the country has
going on right now. He vibed us bout donor programs, absorption capacity
of the country of donor funds, Millenium Development Goals, the works. I
was pretty impressed, actually saw a future for the country. The thing
that jazzed me most was his closing remark that Kenyans should quit this
Doomsday attitude that they have ati our economy is sinking lower and
lower as if the world would end in Kenya only! He challenged us to get up
and start working even harder for the benefit of our children, in the
even that the fruits of our labour take that long. Pretty encouraging
show it was!

Now, its finally 4pm and i need to drag myself to campus. Wish there was
a payroll for attending classes!

Do have an inspired week... but i still dont think i want the olympics in
Kenya :)

Kibet Chebii