Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Nena Bubu Nena.................

I am sitting in my bed this evening wondering when I lost my voice!!!!
Though I had no vote, I have always and should always remain a voice for my country. My opinion may not always be right but when injustices openly occur, injustices that even the blind can see.......HOW IS IT THAT MY VOICE is silent.

How did I allow the cloak of fear to mask my coice. Why did I not stand my ground and shout from the rooftops? Why did my safety matter more than the lives of over 1000 Kenyans...I weep now( a tad late),daily for the loss I have suffered. I try and tell myself that there is nothing I could have done. But the words of Wainaina Haunt me....

Do you remember:

Who is to blame..
Who is behind this
Who lives in the shadows
Who lights the flame of this raging inferno..........

My tears have finally been allowed to flow freely and I will let myself cry. I must cry away my shame at holding back in silence. I must cry away my foolishness for allowing Kenya to come to a place where Leaders are not accountable to the people. Where I have allowed my leaders to become selfish and callous. I must cry away the sorrow I feel at the loss of Kenyan lives. I must break the wall that I have been building up since December 27th 2007 when I went home to the comfort of the loving arms of my sweetheart and trusted the Kenyan vote to a flawed Electoral Commission. A commission I had had the chance to correct a few years back when minimum reforms to the constitution were tabled. BUT NO. I said either I have all I want or nothing at all. Now my Kukuyu brother is slain, Now my Luo Sister is slain, Now my Kalenjin Nephew is slain, Now my Kamba cousin is slain, Now.......yes I should go on to mention my relatives from the 42 tribes, because my generation is of mixed tribal heritage and my KENYA has always and will always be a multi-tribal country.

For the times I looked away as the poor became poorer. The times I laughed off my responsibility to demand systems that can give my mother in Kibera a lift from her poverty over a glass of expensive wine at a plush hotel in Nairobi. For the times I demanded that they must work harder and pull their own weight. For the moment that I ignored the tribal divide convincing myself that it would go away on its own. I cry.

TRUTH can never be silenced, and there is only so much we can sweep under the carpet.

Now my tears are wept....my heart still craves the Kenya that she knows.

The Kenya in my dreams, the Kenya that is rising, stirring from under the destruction. Where we will look the truth of injustice in the eye and take on our fear of confrontation. Where out leaders will be held accountable for their action. Where Kenya will be everyones priority, Where I will be free to be from any of the 42 tribes and have the same opportunities as everyone else. The same rights and freedoms.

But the question remains.....

Amkeni Mifupa Mitupu....Pokeeni Hewa
Ni nani nani?
Atakaye paza ...Sauti ya haki
Nena Bubu Nena.....
Atakaye simama
Atakaye hesabiwa

It is you and I.

I am ready to take my place now. My apologies Kenya. I had given in to my fear and selfishness, and lost sight of our dream.

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